Paris...I think...well...erm...it's just...Je t'aime *cough*

'No, please...I'm too tired. Leave me alone...oooh left a bit, yep, yep, right there...' And...yes peeps, that's right. I don't know how she did it but Paris has managed to roll me over. And I thought she'd never do it.

I find I am a little overwhelmed and sad at the prospect of leaving this city which is bathing herself in flattering, golden light at every opportunity. The bitch went and got all hot and stuff. Damn. What is it about people you are so not interested in and their uncanny ability to creep up on you until you find yourself waiting for their call? Paris, it seems is one such peep.

And I am running out of time. Why is it that you meet someone just as you're going away? Or is it just me who does that? My last two boyfriends and now Paris have been met just as I was getting ready to go somewhere else.

London, you better have learned some new moves in my absence. That's all I'm saying. And whilst you're at it you better go shopping because Paris is literally dripping with clothes, decor, furniture and it would appear beautiful men all of a sudden (what is that about?). I'm going to need these accessories in my life still.

Gosh, I'm even beginning to suspect she has a sense of humour. Who KNEW? She's definitely a bitch and as a fellow bitch I can't believe it took me so long to appreciate her judging snobbishness. We could be twins.

And the wine...oh the wine. Paris, I take it back. Come with me, we could have so much fun in London. Go on, you know you want to...I'll teach you about hard cheese and beer if you supply the wine and hats...