Dear Mickey
Sorry it's taken so long to write, I've been busy enjoying England. It's not the same without you here though.
How's Paris? I hope your new house mate either hasn't found you or is proving as accommodating as me...except for the poison...sorry about that, I was made to lay it. You seemed to enjoy it though, it had you running round the cupboard throwing plastic bag parties and it didn't kill you so you can't be that mad at me. Clearly it's like some kind of Mouse class A because you kept going back for more.
What's new? Do you have more plastic bags? I didn't strip the cupboard bare because I wanted to but because I had to or the Landlord would have gone mad and maybe not given me my deposit. I felt really bad about throwing your bed out...
So, I've been working and settling in. I'm still not living in London yet and a little apprehensive about that. It doesn't feel like home...New York does. That's right Mickey, I'm all itchy feet and ideas and we both know what this means. Soon to follow is tears, chocolate and red wine. Except I'm tee total. Well, I'm at a wedding on Thursday but all the days around that I am. Serious overload at the weekend. Serious. England is a bad influence on me.
I've swapped Pride and Prejudice for any film starring Zac Efron. So pretty. I've been catching up on all manor of trashy films instead of the same twenty or so you had to put up with. If you're a girl mouse then I like to think you enjoyed them as much as I did and if you're not a girl mouse then the crying in the cupboard when I caught you eating butter was a bit much, grow a pair. No Minnie will shag you otherwise.
I just want to say that if it wasn't for the fact that you're a Mouse and Mice have hygiene issues and lots of babies, I would have happily fed you my butter. Don't get all squeaky, you're a rodent, rodents are not hygienic, you have salmonella in your piss. A fact I didn't know till I got home, lucky for you, else I might have got a little more deadly in my attempts to make you unwelcome...you climbed all over my worktops! But you managed on the plastic bags and poison. I like to think that starving can help toughen one up and get one skinnier. My weight loss was 70% poverty and hunger and 30% heart break. And now I don't have the hunger issue (living with the mother has serious PLUS sides) or the heartbreak diet I have started running, I KNOW, it is silly. But without the clowning, what's a girl to do about staying skinny without exercise? So I am running a half marathon this Sunday, when I say running I mean walk/jogging. Send me a little mousey squeak around 9am this Sunday. And my sister too, you remember her? She scared you away mostly but I know you must have been too curious to stay hiding when we were asleep. Especially if you are a boy mouse...except we've already established you're gay, or pubescent. No one likes a teenager Mickey so hurry up and grow out of it.
Well that's it for now, no more news. I hope to have more for you in the next few weeks after the London move. Give Paris two fingers from me, I miss our little chats. Write back.
Your old flatmate,
Hannah xx
How's Paris? I hope your new house mate either hasn't found you or is proving as accommodating as me...except for the poison...sorry about that, I was made to lay it. You seemed to enjoy it though, it had you running round the cupboard throwing plastic bag parties and it didn't kill you so you can't be that mad at me. Clearly it's like some kind of Mouse class A because you kept going back for more.
What's new? Do you have more plastic bags? I didn't strip the cupboard bare because I wanted to but because I had to or the Landlord would have gone mad and maybe not given me my deposit. I felt really bad about throwing your bed out...
So, I've been working and settling in. I'm still not living in London yet and a little apprehensive about that. It doesn't feel like home...New York does. That's right Mickey, I'm all itchy feet and ideas and we both know what this means. Soon to follow is tears, chocolate and red wine. Except I'm tee total. Well, I'm at a wedding on Thursday but all the days around that I am. Serious overload at the weekend. Serious. England is a bad influence on me.
I've swapped Pride and Prejudice for any film starring Zac Efron. So pretty. I've been catching up on all manor of trashy films instead of the same twenty or so you had to put up with. If you're a girl mouse then I like to think you enjoyed them as much as I did and if you're not a girl mouse then the crying in the cupboard when I caught you eating butter was a bit much, grow a pair. No Minnie will shag you otherwise.
I just want to say that if it wasn't for the fact that you're a Mouse and Mice have hygiene issues and lots of babies, I would have happily fed you my butter. Don't get all squeaky, you're a rodent, rodents are not hygienic, you have salmonella in your piss. A fact I didn't know till I got home, lucky for you, else I might have got a little more deadly in my attempts to make you unwelcome...you climbed all over my worktops! But you managed on the plastic bags and poison. I like to think that starving can help toughen one up and get one skinnier. My weight loss was 70% poverty and hunger and 30% heart break. And now I don't have the hunger issue (living with the mother has serious PLUS sides) or the heartbreak diet I have started running, I KNOW, it is silly. But without the clowning, what's a girl to do about staying skinny without exercise? So I am running a half marathon this Sunday, when I say running I mean walk/jogging. Send me a little mousey squeak around 9am this Sunday. And my sister too, you remember her? She scared you away mostly but I know you must have been too curious to stay hiding when we were asleep. Especially if you are a boy mouse...except we've already established you're gay, or pubescent. No one likes a teenager Mickey so hurry up and grow out of it.
Well that's it for now, no more news. I hope to have more for you in the next few weeks after the London move. Give Paris two fingers from me, I miss our little chats. Write back.
Your old flatmate,
Hannah xx
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