International Women's Day

You What? When the hell is International Men's Day? I hear you cry. Well, 50% of you. It doesn't exist because EVERY day is International Men's Day. 'Oh bore off you feminist bitch'. Okay, Bitch is a bit harsh, I don't think you called me a bitch but my mind of foul language cannot come up with something softer.

I. Digress. This is because I am a woman. There's never one thread in this head but thousands literally competing with each other for attention. We call it multi tasking, in fact it's just noise. Much like when you have the delight of being sat next a table full of women in a restaurant. Or just next to your wife when trying to watch the TV. Have I won you back yet men? Come on, I just mocked us...even feminists know that women are annoying. I'm a waitress, a table of women means more work 'Can I have the Steak and chips but without Steak? Just some fish and rather than chips I'll have lettuce', no tip and they will be the last table to leave, even when you have visibly fallen asleep on your feet and the entire building is locked up. THEY WON'T LEAVE. A table of men by contrast means they will spend A LOT of money, leave quickly and tip generously. Unless of course they happen to be a certain Mr Thakar. Yes Thakar, you know who you are and we do ALL hate you. Real venom hate. Your penis is smaller than Verne Troyers. It has to be. There is no other reason for you to be such a total and utter arsehole. Now, where was I? Oh yes, handbags....did I tell you I got a Mulberry for my birthday? No...well let me tell you...

So what, woman, is your point? It is easy for us to feel comfortable in our fairly equal society. We are the lucky ones and we still have a bit of a battle but it's tiny in comparison to where we have come from. Never can we forget the hundreds of women who fought very hard for us to be where we are today. The years of oppression faced by women is enough for us to harp on about it for at least another Millennia. However, the sadder fact is that there are still places in this World where the Birth of a daughter is not just a disappointment but a source of shame. Girls are still left on the street as unwanted because they have no worth to their family. In other parts of the World women are repressed in other ways. Take for example the fact that a man can have four wives and affairs but a woman, in certain parts of this world, can be stoned to death for an affair. She can also be executed for an affair when she was raped. Raped. Hung. What the fuck? This cannot be allowed to continue. So whilst I moan about the smaller issues I faced in Paris where I was most definitely a second citizen after men there is a real and huge need for the fight to continue. Lives are at risk.

Now those men with baby daughters, imagine abandoning her at the side of the street. Imagine her being raped. Imagine her being gang raped. Imagine her being stoned to death. Imagine her walking four paces behind her husband. Imagine her sharing a bed with three other wives. Imagine her being doused in petrol and burnt alive for bringing shame on the family. It's not acceptable for your daughter, it's not acceptable for any woman and yet all of these things happen. Today. They happen for the simple reason that they are women. Inequality for any reason is simply not acceptable. Big or small it needs to be addressed. No person is the same so in that sense we are not equal, we should be measured as individuals but we also have to recognise that every person on this planet is worthy and it is our job to spread this message. Colour, creed and sex cannot be a reason to hold someone down. Not today.

This is why we have International Women's Day. We are still fighting for our freedoms as equals amongst men. We are not the same as you but we have worth. And we have strength.

Let's embrace our differences, accept them and delight in them but let's not use them as an excuse to belittle each other. And I speak to women as much as to men here. We need both sexes united in this fight for equality.

'History is women following behind, with a bucket.'