Dear Paul Smith...yes cousin Paul...yes, the Paul of the band The Standards that lives in Thailand, that Paul Smith

Luis Suarez. That name disturbs me, you want to know why? I fear he could be the destruction of our family. Those two words divide us like the English Channel divides the English and the French. This is a worry. I don't want to engage in a one hundred year war. I don't want to see your little heart broken when he ups and leaves like all men do. Yes, that's right Paul. He will leave. He will leave for a shiny new, younger mistress. There is nothing you or I or Brendan (touchy) Rodgers can do about it. And herein lies the problem with Luis Suarez.

Liverpool is a club made up of rare and loyal men. Great men who choose to stay and fight with their club for years on disappointing years, instead of chasing the glories that would no doubt have fell upon them had they upped and left. Liverpool is a club made up of grafters and team work. And then there is your beloved Suarez.

I mean, sure, I enjoy a Suarez goal as much as the next man (wait...woman). I have jumped and screamed in delight as he has pulled things back and rescued us from yet another disappointment. I have watched in awe as he has curved the ball past a steady wall and a towering keeper and found the one tiny patch of the net he could squeeze the ball into. There is no doubt that he is a World class football player. That, technically, he is our best player. So why you cry, why Hannah (and Siobhan) do you hate him so?

Why Paul? Why? Because after scoring two amazing free kicks he goes and stands on a defender for no good reason other than that he is a prize dickhead. Because at the slightest touch he will fall and cry foul. Because when he is playing badly he gets annoyed at everyone else on the pitch. Because when one of his team mates is playing well he behaves like a petulant child and throws his toys out of the pram. Because you and I both know that he plays with and for his ego. He will leave this summer and if not this summer, next summer. He will go where there is money and glory. Sure, you might say that is a professionals right. That all competitive spirits want that. And to that, I hold up one Steven Gerrard. Steven's career, by rights, should have been filled with trophies. He will go down as one of the greatest footballers never to have held the Premier league title. If of course a miracle doesn't happen in the next few years, and let's not rule it out, it is Liverpool after all. Miracles really do happen here. And yet he has sweated every ounce of blood and guts he has on that Anfield pitch for his football team. He has played in the way you and I support. Like a true fan. In a recent European game when Luis sent two incredible free kicks into the back of the net, the whole team was tied together and playing the way they did because of one man. He literally had to pull them behind him to find the fighting spirit Liverpool is most famed for. Watching him, you could feel the weight of the ten men he dragged around behind him.

Okay, you say, we all know Stevie is special. And Jamie is special and Alonso was special before Benitez went and ruined that for us all. So what? That's rare, you say. Only it isn't. I have grown up with pride in my team because despite not being the best, despite being often the under dogs, despite having more bad haircuts than David Beckham, we have fought on that pitch and we have come out mighty, time and time again. And that is what I want as a Liverpool fan. Even when we lose a big game, like the other week, we lose it with our head held high. Except for one moment where a man with teeth bigger than Bugs decided to step on a defender, the only low light of the game. I want my team to be filled with players that create that. 

I don't want an ego maniac who plays for himself, albeit brilliantly, and then ups and leaves for someone like f**king Chelsea. Okay, it won't be Chelsea because they are not good enough but it could be. Because he doesn't care about Liverpool. He cares about Luis Suarez. And this, THIS is why I can't bring myself to like him. Sure, I'll accept the goals but you and I both know they are on borrowed time. The man is for changing. You know it. I know it. Steven knows it. We all know it.

And when Stevie leaves us, who will take up the Liverpool mantle after him? I can't see anyone behind him with the passion and the metal to take on that role, this my cousin, depresses me. This is why I scrutinise all our players and judge them against him because he is on borrowed time and without him, our team could be any old Chelsea or Man United. Sure, they have their old timers, their 'loyal' players. Do they heck. None of their big guns would have stayed if they were in Liverpool's position these past years. And that is what makes Liverpool special. Luis is just another player, here for a while, gone for bigger, better. And I don't like them. They don't have a place at Liverpool.

But I mean, sure, I did like the diving goal celebration he did to David Moyes. That was funny. 

Click here to watch The Standards latest single...you'd be a FOOL not to. He might have bad taste in Footballers but not in music people. Plus the guy in the video is well hot and will make up for the image above.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=acMI0ffeeLchttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=acMI0ffeeLc