Being Mental

A haze of days passed in a blur
A drink too many
As belly bloats and smiles
Stop
Another day too many
Legs running
Trying to hide
If I can't see me
I don't exist
And neither do you

It's just another day
With a conversation too many
I didn't hear a word you said
Crashed out asleep
Wake in a panic
As five o'clock looms
What time is it? What day?
Dark shadows loom over the bed
As I try and find my head
Sleep now child
As dark nightmares loom
Reaching a hand
They grip my throat

Alarm bleats rudely
And now I find I'm stuck to my bed
Thoughts crash together
Trying to find their way to
The front of my head
My turn! My turn!
Can I please catch my breath?
What day today, who am I?
The office worker
The waitress
The actress
The lady in bed who's head is a mess?

Late again, thoughts muddled
Today she said?
My stomach shouts
You forgot to eat
Is that chocolate I see?
Smile politely;
Good morning, hello,
How is your day?
I'm fine!
I say
I'm fine.
But how are you?
Not that I can hear you
Words crash together inside
My head
Some days I wish I was dead

Don't be silly you fool
It's fun you see
Just keep running
And drinking
And eating
And smiling
And talking
And forgetting
And sleeping
And waking
And dreaming
And screaming as nightmares
Draw nearer
With a grip so tight
They pull you from sleep
Until you wake
And find them beside you still
Night terrors
And day horrors
It's all the same

Suddenly you wake
And see the mess
Did I just leave all that
In my wake?
Is it me that was here?
Have I been asleep?
I went to work
I spoke
But all the time it wasn't me
Night terrors
Day horrors
It's all the same

And merry Christmas they said
As I struggled in vein to find my head
Merry Christmas they said



Sent from my iPhone