'Cause I'm the Taxman, yeah, I'm the Taxman

My first reaction to the Jimmy Carr tax story was, what has he done to the Murdoch's? Is he one of the many complaining about phone hacking? Is this the revenge. And then I had no more thoughts. Until the media went wild and Politicians started making denouncements. I mean, please? First off, the Prime Minister is in a job that requires him to be on duty literally 24 hours a day and he earns WAY less than any number of Business men in the city. If he isn't hiding money offshore then he's a bloody fool. It's a shocking wage for a thankless job. Granted, one he does spectacularly badly. If he's not doing dodgy dealings now, he will when he moves into the Blair world of public speaking and big bucks. Or more likely, as who wants to hear him speak, consulting. There's big money in consulting.

So let's look at the bigger picture and be grateful that the rather touchy subject of taxes has been bought into the media and start a useful debate instead of flinging mud at rich people doing the most human thing in the World. Dodging the tax man.

From the Beatles down, everyone hates the tax man. Sure, he's vital for the country. Paying taxes is something we all have to do and there isn't one of us who doesn't benefit or rely on one of the many services these taxes provide (to a lesser or greater degree). However, taxes are badly managed and often grossly unfair. For example, I work two jobs, one of which is minimum wage, the other is slightly more. I get one day off a week. My holiday is unpaid, I am not entitled to sick pay and I can only just afford to survive. I pay rent, I pay my bills, I buy my food. I work hard and claim nothing. I pay the same percentage in tax as someone on £34,000 a year (which lets be honest is not a lot of money in today's World) and yet I earn at least £15,000 less. To the average person, £15,000 is a lot of money. It would certainly make a huge difference to my life if someone handed me £15,000. I'm sure it would to you. But then we look at the next band and it gets even more ridiculous. A person earning over £35,000 pays 40% tax on the amount over up to £150,000. A whopping 40%. So you work hard, you get your promotion bringing your modest wage over £35,000 and you pay 20% extra on the pay given to you as a reward. The same tax on this extra as someone earning £150,000. A person on £150,000 takes home £97,000 net. Still a huge cut but leaving an income that can afford luxury. Unlike the person on £40,000. So how do they have the same charge? Move up to the highest band and anything from £150,000 plus is taxed at 50% (or is that now 45%...I thought the government reduced it but HM Revenues still quotes 50%). So, if like Jimmy Carr you earn £3 Million you will take home slightly over £1.5 Million net. But if you earn £151,000 you are also charged at 50% on the extra £1000. Have you had enough of numbers yet? I have. Let's move on to the point.

Which, if I'm honest, I'd have thought was screamingly obvious. But for those who need clarity, I shall of course provide it. Our tax system is unfair. From the bottom end of the scale and the poorest houses (which I am not included in despite my dire circumstances) to the middle and then the top. We ALL pay too much. Those who cannot afford to live pay taxes. Those who have just enough pay the same. And those in the middle who range from a very modest wage to support a family to a luxury wage pay the same. Then at the top end you are deemed worth 50% less than your wage suggests. Tough luck. You earn loads and we the government will take from you and then, guess what, we won't pass the benefit down the scale to those households who struggle to make ends meat. We'll take the cash and use it however we want and we will never let you know where it goes. Most likely to fund a war you don't want. This is the real problem. I am sure that those who earn large sums would pay large tax bills if they saw where it went and even benefited from it. But tax is that silent issue. We don't know exactly where it goes. At the moment, with the NHS in a dire state and the countries economy in a worse state it is hard to even guess...except maybe on the debts of an idiotic Chancellor who didn't understand that what goes up, must come down. Gordon Brown, meet Isaac Newton. Isaac, will you just take it from here please?

So whilst I don't applaud the rich for shirking their tax responsibilities, I happily smile and tell customers who ask if I get my credit card tips that yes I do minus 20% VAT, so cash is better*. And nearly everyone responds the same way, with a shudder and a quick search for cash. None of us want to give more to the tax man than is necessary. All of us will use a loophole if we find it. The £2 on a £20 tip isn't a lot to the VAT man but it's a huge amount to me, someone for whom, every penny counts. Now sure, Jimmy and I are not in anyway near the same position but we are both human. Maybe he spends some of his tax free money on worthwhile causes, maybe he pockets the lot but can I completely judge him? No. Can David Cameron? Certainly no. Can Rupert Murdoch? Absolutely not. Perhaps now is the time to redress the balance and make taxes fairer, more transparent and more honest. Without that first, we shall all try and avoid what we can and we all know this. 


"Let me tell you how it will be
One for you, nineteen for me
'Cause I'm the Tax man, yeah, I'm the Taxman"

*This is of course a made up anecdote I added for the benefit of the article and not in anyway a true reflection of my real tips policy. Although, I don't always tell the actual truth. Who knows if the anecdote is true or this comment. Who knows? I'm not sure even I do. Er. No comment.