Van Gogh, Poetry, Mime and Juggling

Second term commenced under a warning by Paola that the next three weeks would be 'Very' abstract and that she knew there would be many times when we didn't understand what we were doing or why but asked that we go with it and trust it whilst we did it and questioned it after. So a normal few weeks at Lecoq you might assume. So did I. But no. She was right. We have gone very very abstract. But apart from a small hesitation at the beginning and one person leaving after what we were doing trully convinced her it was not the school for her, we have all thrown ourselves in. Into what? What could possibly be weirder than playing the elements and materials? Well. Now. Since you ask. To play Earth, Sea, Water and Fire is in fact quite easy and perfectly rational in light of what we have moved onto. Because this week Matthew I have mostly been Van Gogh. Well, not Van Gogh the man, as in the character. That would be regular drama training. This is Lecoq training. No Van Gogh's body of work, his brush strokes, his colours, his rhythm. I have also been the movements of many different poems, cities, buildings. The sounds of places and buildings. Not the sound effects I add, the sound of the building itself if it could make a sound. The sound of the desert. Easy, that's wind. Nope. In fact it is a rather hideous high pitched squealing noise of heat and yellow. Oh and not to forget I have been colours on their own. I have also started juggling lessons. Otherwise known, in my case, as an 'Ant Massacre'. Not sure how many my falling balls have now killed but I reckon it's on a par with World War One, at least. So I am hoping that after all that you can forgive me for my tardiness in updating this blog. But currently I reside on a different planet.

One of the most fun parts of these past few weeks has been reading new poetry and actually studying painters and Art. Art is a subject I didn't take to at school, due mainly to my lack of ability and poor teaching, but I have always loved galleries and wished I knew more. And I had to know more. We were told to go to galleries, buy books on artists and buy the poetry books and read as many as we could. It was obligatory to buy them and bring them to school. Lecoq likes to hit you with unexpected expenses every few weeks. It's a real pleasure to get those surprises. Especially in January. But I am grateful for the excuse to study these and to buy books. I had to buy just one art and one poetry book due to money restrictions but I have borrowed another art book, another poetry book and I bought John Donne back with me after Christmas. Although, John Donne. Still yawn. Didn't get him at A-Levels. Don't get him now. He's either obsessed with sex (early poems) or obsessed with God and HUGELY hypocritical (late poems). But at least I tried again to read him as an adult, I gave him the chance and he, quite frankly, blew it.

I picked Van Gogh as the artist for me to buy a book about because I suspected it was more than likely that my Artist would not get picked (we are using them for our performances, last week and this week) and so I wanted one whose story I was interested in as well as paintings, so I could read up on them and get a bit of gossip. Which I love. So, still, why Van Gogh. Simple. He killed himself. Which pretty much guarentees him a place on my bookshelf. I am entirely fascinated by anyone who has been depressed, mental and or killed themselves. Hence my love affair with Virginia Woolf. What a morbid child you cry. Well, yes. I'm an actress. I tend to like drama. But I am not entirely sure where the fascination comes from. I suffer from depression. Fairly mild in the grand scheme of things but it bubbles away underneath and boils over every now and then. And last year, was one such boiling year. And the one and only person I could read, who I in fact only discovered during this time, and who gave me comfort was Virginia Woolf. And I was drawn to reading her to begin with because she was depressed and because she killed herself. And she was a comfort because she was depressed and although her diaries don't really touch on her feelings that much, they are there, ever present and occasionally she offers you a little insight into her madness that resonates and makes you feel like you're not alone. But if I am honest the depression didn't get her onto my bookshelf, the suicide did. But I found real comradeship with her through the depression so my morbid fascination helped point me in the direction of help. I trully grieved when she killed herself at the end of her diaries. As if I lost a friend. And also, because I didn't see it coming! Joke. The scariest part about Virginia Woolf is that she was also, like me, fascinated by suicide and repelled by the thought of it. How could anyone want to switch off life? She questioned it right up until three months before she killed herself. And she, seemingly, despite her illness had a real desire for life right up until the moment she took it. And that thought terrifies me. And fascinates me. That ones mind can go from wanting life to taking life in seemingly no time at all. And after fighting her illness for many many many years, what was the moment it went crack? And this is comforting how Hannah??? Not sure. Now where was I? That's right, Van Gogh. Well it turns out, we chose Van Gogh anyway. And apparently, when your as mad as he was it gets acted out on the canvass. Cue crazy brushstrokes. I.E extreme physical theatre. I.E Muscular acheage.

Hang on, wait a minute, where is the mime in all this talk of suicide and craziness? Well, currently sitting in a dark corner of my mind marked 'Hatred'. Okay, I don't hate it but I don't like it. I can't do choreography. And Choreographing the INCORRECT technique for punting is my idea of a red rag to a bull. Okay, PMT played a role here but Jason has a lot to make up for this week. And my shoulders still ache. It was in fact my least favourite mime lesson this week at the same time as being the most interesting as he showed us how this 'Simple' choreography can be used to express different things, simply by slowing down the movement and making it a much smaller thing so it ends being a gesture. Is really powerful how it works and now I understand why we do Mime. Maybe one week I'll get the answer for acrobatics...