In a dark dark town...

...there's a dark dark street, down the dark dark street there's a dark dark house, with a dark dark door, through the dark dark door, there's a dark dark hall with some dark dark stairs, down the dark dark stairs there is a dark dark room, in the dark dark room lives...some kind of hybrid of human. One imagines.

It is a universally acknowledged fact that like other Mammals, humans come fitted with their very own easy to use brain. The brain is so easy to use it doesn't even come with a 'how to' manual to get you started. If it did, I imagine it would say the following:
1) Please ensure to charge your heart (see instructions) with lots of veg and protein to keep blood flow constant. The brain cannot operate if blood supply ceases.
2) The occasional bit of water helps.
3) Avoid bumping the brain casing as this can cause damage to the brain itself (a damaged brain can be fatal)
4) The brain requires regular sleep (see new mother's for where sleep deprivation can affect functionality)
5) Reading can help the functionality of your brain (optional)

It would appear that some humans have been ignoring the optional extra and are behaving in ways regular humans find strange, abnormal, abhorrent. In some extreme cases these humans have grown into adult humans and then produced little humans that appear to be wired with a different brain. This brain seems to work less well than a regular human. It's a brain that displays an inability to think. About others or logic or to creatively organise anything. It seems to not have thoughts. At first when imagining this new kind of human I wondered if perhaps it was evolution going backwards and these humans were in fact ape like but when I used my brain in it's preferred method of thought I discovered that stores in my knowledge (stores of knowledge can be expanded by reading) showed information revealing that apes actually show an ability for thought, creativity (they make tools) and show that age old human trait of empathy. We haven't discussed empathy yet. Empathy is an ability to understand and care for others. And apes show this ability.

So the hybrid human is not an ape. Apes are in fact far too intelligent to be insulted with the comparison. As are regular humans. Let's discuss briefly the signs that describe this new breed of human. They appear to have an inability to communicate with words outside of the group of words described as cursing words. They have invented a new form of writing in which they insert extra letters in, I can only imagine, an over zealous excitement with the key pad (an example 'whhhhhaaaaaaattttt????!') The use of exclamations within this group is always excessive but this, we can deduce, is because they tend to shout or grunt what words they use and the exclamations are an expression of this loudness. Writing by this group can only be done if a keyboard is available. We have found no proof of the use of a pen and paper to date. They don't seem to know what the word 'work' means. They hang around in packs. They carry weapons and have an innate fascination with fire. Fire is bright and displays flashes and in extreme situations explosions. These animals are fascinated by bright and dark colours. Bright colours because they encourage their brains to stay in it's preferred state, hypnotised or dazed (see also drug and drink habits for this effect) and dark colours because they give the illusion that one is invisible. And or scary.

In many ways the hybrid human relates to the average humans teenager. A time in adolescence when the brain behaves strangely and rejects normal behaviour. It could be considered that after the growth rate of the average humans child brain and it's ability to learn it is a much needed period of quiet where the brain appears to shut down and relax, in order to come back bigger and cleverer. But with the hybrid human it is as if the human simply does not wake from this period of rest and spends the rest of adult life in this semi comatose state.

It is extremely dangerous for normal humans if we have an over population of this 'teenaged' brain. The teenage brain when operating in mass can produce chaos. Looting, destruction, violence and over pro-creation. Pro-creation amongst these humans is highly undesirable as they tend only to breed within their group which means we will see more of this type of human. They don't know how to stop once breeding has started and the average number of children produced by an adult male is seven.

When confronted by one of these humans it is advised that the cool use of your intellect is the best weapon as intelligence confuses them. However, please be aware that they will resort to violence without provocation and keeping a safe distance is advised.

The police and authorities are still in the process of devising a plan to deal with this plague within society and it is advised that the average human continues reading and coaxes all teenage children in their household safely into adulthood to ensure that rogue groups do not start appearing within normal human families.

At present there is no protective clothing available. Unless you wish to try camouflage and dress like them. I warn you that this is extremely damaging for your health and can cause permanent sartorial damage and even signs of brain deterioration.

If you fear that you have already been affected by brain deterioration from years of living amongst this hybrid human then consult an Oxford dictionary, any works by Einstein, Shakespeare, Phillip Pullman, Marian Keyes (comedy injections are needed as hybrids don't know humour or sarcasm) Stephen Hawkings or Charlie Brooker as a matter of urgency.

Now public, regular humans, I urge you stay safe, keep breeding, read to your children and the use of deep scary voices to stop them misbehaving (remember how your Mum/Dad could say just your name and induce horror?) Is strongly advised. Your children should respect you and do as you tell them. Any sign of the child being in control of the parent and you may be on your way to creating a hybrid human with the permanent brain damage of the teenage brain. Only you can stop this from happening. All adults without children please help those with children by providing support.

Good luck one and all.
------------------