Not Clowning Around
Final term, week three. I can't actually do it. Simply lost all motivation to continue and try. This is not what my sponsors would be happy to hear and rightly so. But world, enough. Enough now.
It's sort of like a long break up. I know it's over and there is nothing more to get from it but I can't end it yet because we have a holiday booked. I'm 21 all over again and realising almost immediately after giving the gift that the birthday present of a trip to New York in April was a bad idea. As were the concert tickets booked for May. That little feeling of dread in your stomach as you realise it really is already over and you just have to carry on anyway.
Jacques Lecoq and I were not made to go the distance but I feel we learnt a lot. Well, I learnt a lot and he's going to have to make the same mistakes again and again. It's always sad when a relationship ends and you know that the other side didn't quite get the point and will not grow in your absence. I've seen it before and I'm sorry to leave yet another man safe in the knowledge that he will stay exactly where he is whilst I get to grow.
There's only one thing that's going to get me through the next eight weeks. I tend to be morally against this stance but I have to stay sane. It's time to cheat on him. First stop Shakespeare. Next stop acting. Third stop a piece that lasts more than two minutes. Goodness, I'm an actress and not a moving body, I forgot. What is it about passionate relationships that make you forget who you were when you begun? Thanks for the ride Jacques but you were just a wobble to remind me who I really am.
In the words of Bob Dylan...'Go strike another match, go start a new, And it's all over now, baby blue'
It's sort of like a long break up. I know it's over and there is nothing more to get from it but I can't end it yet because we have a holiday booked. I'm 21 all over again and realising almost immediately after giving the gift that the birthday present of a trip to New York in April was a bad idea. As were the concert tickets booked for May. That little feeling of dread in your stomach as you realise it really is already over and you just have to carry on anyway.
Jacques Lecoq and I were not made to go the distance but I feel we learnt a lot. Well, I learnt a lot and he's going to have to make the same mistakes again and again. It's always sad when a relationship ends and you know that the other side didn't quite get the point and will not grow in your absence. I've seen it before and I'm sorry to leave yet another man safe in the knowledge that he will stay exactly where he is whilst I get to grow.
There's only one thing that's going to get me through the next eight weeks. I tend to be morally against this stance but I have to stay sane. It's time to cheat on him. First stop Shakespeare. Next stop acting. Third stop a piece that lasts more than two minutes. Goodness, I'm an actress and not a moving body, I forgot. What is it about passionate relationships that make you forget who you were when you begun? Thanks for the ride Jacques but you were just a wobble to remind me who I really am.
In the words of Bob Dylan...'Go strike another match, go start a new, And it's all over now, baby blue'
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